The Dress Code Confusion

The long overdue invitation to your cousin’s wedding had just been delivered. You already bought a dress which you think is absolutely perfect; you just hope it goes with their requested attire. Barely able to contain your excitement, you carefully (read: try not to rip) open the delicate card, scan through the wording until your eye catches the “dress code” section and your heart sinks to your shoes. It says “Formal”. What does that even mean? Do you know? Does your cousin know? Does anyone in the family actually know? And what about your dress?

Stop and take a breath - I’m here to help.

Informal, Smart Casual, Cocktail, Black Tie… What should it look like? The modern looks differ a bit from what it used to be, so I’m sticking to what is relevant. If you want a history lesson, you can go read here.

I think the most confusion lies where some terms mean the same thing… But another issue arises when we don’t use the correct terms when we refer to dress codes. We confuse Black Tie with Formal and Informal with Smart Casual. Black tie is also not more formal than Formal, it is actually Semi-Formal. In South Africa, however, we tend to refer to Black Tie as Formal, because us regular Joes don’t usually attend functions as formal as White Tie, the true Formal.

Nonetheless, this is how it actually goes:

Formal = White Tie:

Refers to black tail coats and white bow-ties, ball gowns or floor-length evening gowns, and formal traditional outfits. Very restrictive.

Semi-formal = Black Tie:

Refers to a dark suit with button-up shirt and tie (not necessarily black), and evening gowns (floor length, or as short as knee length, as long as it is still very fancy if shorter) - also referred to as Cocktail. A bit more lenient.

Informal = Business Attire:

Refers to business suits for men and women. Ties are optional for men and women can wear skirts if preferred. Pretty much what you would wear to a business meeting.

Smart Casual = casual, but still neat:

Refers to trousers (sometimes jeans) and button-up shirts with blazers, and informal (meaning less-than-formal) dresses. For daytime events, opt for something lighter and brighter than what you would wear to an evening event. Shorts, T-shirts, ripped jeans, and flip-flops are generally not accepted as Smart.

Casual = comfortable:

Pretty much anything goes, excluding the above-mentioned recommendations and pajamas or swimwear. Your best bet would be something like shorts or a summer dress if the weather is warm. For colder weather you are welcome to wear your hoodie and tekkies.

Back to the invitation you received; your cousin possibly meant Formal as in Black Tie, so maybe just give them a call before you put away that gorgeous new cocktail dress to go buy a ridiculously expensive ball gown.